people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize