Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
