Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
