YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize