i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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