I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
