Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
The feeling are messing with the penis
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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