How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
