just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
