But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
