i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
3pm strippers are depressing
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize