Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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