The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My cat gives me a boner
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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