She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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