I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
