You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
