i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
