Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
