one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
