Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
