who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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