I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
