She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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