the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
