Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
