is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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