I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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