Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize