I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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