Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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