4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
she woke up with a sticky ear
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
