on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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