I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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