Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
God, I missed his penis.
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