im gay
i know
yea but for you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
