I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Found your dick twin last night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Everclear isn't food dammit
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
