He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
