remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
