He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
