Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
