It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
