This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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