How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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