I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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