Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
