Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I just found a bag of teeth...
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
