my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
