we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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