i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
