Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
