The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
