They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Randomize
