Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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