So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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