David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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