So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
