you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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