if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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