I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I just want nice things and good sex
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
