I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
