ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
