somebody snuck up and got me drunk
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
