I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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