your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
