This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
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