we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
