Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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