Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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