The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize