Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
