I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
