Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
my poor anus
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
